Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I need moral support for this bender
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
