I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
