Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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