just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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