my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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