so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
