Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
