the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
