Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
