I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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