I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
