barbara walters just said penis...
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
