Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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