Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
