I bet he comes in French.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
