If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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