dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
