Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
