New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I think I sprained my soul last night
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
