I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
