Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
