she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
