If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
