it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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