So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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