My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
