Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
