Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
