So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
