well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
