I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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