Only a mothe r could love this liver
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
