home. puking in laundry basket.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
tell me about the eggs
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
