How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
