God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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