I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Still dying that you shit outside
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
