party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
