I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
