If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
