Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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