About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
