Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
