You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
