I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
dude i'm inner monologue high
they need to just BURY HIM!
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
