Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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