yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
