I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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