how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
