I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Ladies don't puke and tell
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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