why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
