Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
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