Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
