I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
What a dumb baby whore.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
try to milk me bitch
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