D3 body, D1 cock
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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