Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
