i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
